Friday, March 24, 2017

All the Dogs...

Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life?  Like a void that needs filling?  I'm not ashamed to admit that I do, and more often than I would like.  After all, I'm only human and I feel all the feels that come with the wonderful things that happen in my life, as well as the feels that come along with the not so wonderful things.

In my twenties my void fillers tended to be spontaneous decisions that I had given zero thought to...Like the one time when I was 21..I had just broken up with my longtime boyfriend and my void filler was a brand new tattoo.  It was not a reminder of anything..other than sometimes I make really stupid decisions...I woke up the next morning like what in the heck did you just do to yourself...and then 10 years later I had it removed.  I don't have anything against tattoos...I actually think on some people they're pretty awesome..they just aren't for me.

Now that 40 is quickly approaching the desires to fill my voids have changed and have also become more expensive.  Like...buying land that now I am scratching my head about because I don't know what I want to do with it and I'm constantly second guessing myself after purchasing it and losing sleep wondering what I have gotten myself into..or the old Jeep that I am on the search for just to have a new toy, but they still don't cut it.  Those are just things.  Temporary things.  Thank goodness growing older for me also means growing wiser, and thinking about my decisions a little bit before I act on them...not to say that prevents me from making bad decisions, but at least there's more of a thought process put into it now that I'm a tad older and a little bit wiser...

One of the joys of growing older is that it teaches you that one of the best ways to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others

Recently, my void filling tool is dogs.  Like I want alll the dogs.  You know, because more responsibility on my already overflowing plate is exactly what I need, right?  Probably not, but dang it..a dog just makes your heart happy.

I already have three and they all compete for my attention,  I don't have enough hands to pet all of them at the same time so I'm usually rubbing on two of them with my hands and then another one with my elbow.  How would I even manage to love on a fourth one?  My other elbow?  My foot?  I mean, I guess it's possible. Winston would probably shun me if I brought another dog home anyway.  He was my only dog-child for a year until I got Brodie, and then my husband snuck a Great Dane into the picture without asking, so Winston basically started giving me the side eye smug look..which he still does from time to time because I ruined his only dog-child life by bringing the other two heathens (his words, not mine) into the house.  

 So, since I am pretending to be a responsible adult (most days), but most importantly a responsible pet owner (all days), I will wait until the right time to bring another one home. Which probably won't be anytime soon.  <insert pouting face here>.

  Meanwhile, I have been volunteering my time at our local animal shelter and loving on all the dogs that don't have homes.  It makes my day, but most importantly it makes theirs and that is the ultimate
void filler.  Our shelter is a kill shelter which breaks my heart, but it is what it is.  I blame irresponsible dog owners for overcrowding at the shelter and would really like to punch them all in the nose.  So going to the shelter and taking the dogs for walks, playing fetch, giving them all the love that I can for that day and getting them used to socializing will increase their chances of finding a new home. 

Although, at the end of my days spent there when I walk to each kennel and give each dog a pat on the head and a treat while telling them what a good boy or girl they are and that I love them...just really makes me want to open the kennel and say come on kids, you're coming home with me...They are so sweet and special and a day spent with them makes my emptiness seem minuscule compared to how they must feel.  

If you really want to receive joy and happiness, then serve others with all your heart.  Lifting their burdens will most definitely lighten yours.


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